Hearing that someone close to you has been the victim of sexual abuse can bring up a range of emotions from anger to guilt. The important thing to remember is that if someone you care about has experienced sexual abuse, they need your support more than ever. The way that you respond can make a huge difference in their healing journey.
But sometimes, it’s not always easy to know what to say or do. So, how can you help a victim of sexual abuse? Here’s how you can assist them in a compassionate, understanding, and empowering way.
Believe Them, No Matter What
One of the most powerful actions you can take is just believing them. Sexual abuse survivors often fear that people will not take them seriously or question their experience.
Saying something like “I believe you’ or “I’m sorry something happened to you” can make a difference. These words might seem small, but they can mean everything to someone who has carried this pain.
Listen Without Trying to Fix It
For many people, they want to help. It’s natural to want to offer solutions, but what they probably need most is someone who will just listen.
You’ll want to let them talk when they are ready. Everyone is different. Some survivors might share a lot, while others might only say a few words. You never want to push for details. Just be present and available for them.
Never Ask “Why?” or “What If?”
You don’t need to learn all the details of the incident. So, make sure to avoid questions, especially those that could make them feel like they did something wrong.
These questions can make survivors feel like they’re being blamed. Instead, remind them that they have your full support. Keep in mind that they might already be blaming themselves. You’ll want to counter that with reassurance.
Help Them Find Support, But Don’t Push It
Healing from trauma isn’t easy. Sometimes, getting help and talking with a professional can really help with the healing process. However, therapy isn’t for everyone. Some individuals might not be ready yet.
But if they’re open to it, you can help them research therapists, hotlines, or local resources. Remember: always let them take the lead.
Respect Their Boundaries
After experiencing sexual abuse, many survivors struggle with feeling safe. Many people may avoid all physical touch. Even a hug might be overwhelming. Before offering any kind of physical comfort, ask: “Would you like a hug?” You need to let them decide what feels right for them. When you respect their boundaries, you can help them feel more in control.
Offer to Help
Sometimes, the best way to support someone is through small, everyday actions. You might want to help them with daily tasks, such as grocery shopping. For some, having a loved one come to a doctor or therapist appointment is much needed.
Even checking in on a regular basis is another great way to show your support. These little gestures can remind them they’re not alone in this journey.
Be Patient with Them
Everyone’s healing journey is different. Keep this in mind when offering support. Some days, they might seem totally fine. On other days, they might struggle with memories, anxiety, or trust issues. Triggers can come out of nowhere.
You shouldn’t take it personally if they pull away or seem distant. Just being there consistently is enough to help them heal.
Educate Yourself on Trauma
If you want to be a better support system, take some time to learn about trauma and how it affects the brain and body. Some survivors experience:
- Anxiety, depression, or PTSD
- Trouble sleeping or nightmares
- Difficulty trusting others
- A need for more control in their life
When you understand these things, it can help you be more patient and compassionate when they are struggling.
Support Comes in Many Forms
Supporting someone who has experienced sexual abuse is more than having all the right words or fixing their pain. You need to show up with kindness and patience. Believing them, listening without judgment, and respecting their healing process can make a difference.
Sometimes, you may have to find the right support for them, including legal guidance.
At Forbes Law Offices, we have strongly advocated for all victims of sexual abuse. When they are ready to take the next legal steps, we are there to offer our support.
